After the last IUI failed, I told Josh I needed a break. Emotionally and physically I was just exhausted. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to keep going. So we tried again. I mean right away tried. The day I got my period I called my doc and we had the option of starting that night or waiting a month. So, we started that night! This time we were a little more lax with everything. I still watched what I drank! I had a couple glasses of wine that weekend and that was it. We had the second IUI January 23rd and were supposed to test this Thursday. Yes, were. I started my cycle this morning.
Of course the million questions run through my head...should I have had those glasses of wine? Should I have carried and ran with my niece at her birthday party? Should I have taken a couple of weeks off of teaching tumbling even though I didn't spot like I normally do? I did this all morning until I was blue in the face. I could do this for the next week. It's in the past. All I can do now is decided what to do next. We are definitely taking that month off. I, honestly, don't know what to do now. I won't do another IUI. The next step will be IVF. The problem is getting the money for that. We bought our house in October so Josh said next year we can take a loan against the house and use that for IVF.
I'm keeping it together...only because I'm at work. This morning was a different story. I have to teach tonight...same thing as last time this happened. I'm upset, disappointed, sad, confused, and feel so guilty.
I probably won't be on here again for a while. All your prayers are so appreciated. Thank you for your support.
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