I've been asked to update my blog lately and I just haven't really wanted to. It feels like every time I do, it's because something bad has happened. I actually had to look back to read what was last written because it's been so long. It's been 9 months...which is ironic because my last post was about my period being late. Clearly, that didn't result into what I had hoped for. So where are we now...
We are still adopting :D We are a licensed Foster Family Home now and are just waiting to be matched! Now I know I wrote the last treatment we did would be the final one...but I did ANOTHER one. If I come across something that could be beneficial, I'll try it. Josh was concerned with this one. It was a shot I would have to take once a month and a pill every night to try and "dry up" my endometriosis. The side effects were brutal. I went into early menopause so my body would have time to clear out as much of the endo as possible. I was tired ALL the time. I was sad ALL the time. I cried ALL the time. I sank into this black hole and it kept getting deeper and deeper so I finally said "I can't do this anymore. I'm afraid of what it's doing to me mentally" so we stopped before the cycle was done. It was supposed to last 6 months but I could only do 3 months. Josh said "That's it. No more treatments." It was taking a toll on me and, in turn, on him. 
That last shot was in November. They said it could take three months for the meds and side effects to stop. 
My energy is back, I want to do things again, it's SO nice! 
The past five years have been....educational. I NEVER thought I would be told I can't have kids. My whole life I wanted to be a mom. Even when I was a kid myself I looked forward to being a mom one day. I'll always struggle with this and feel such guilt for not being able to give Josh a baby of his own. I think that's what hurts the most. 
So this is where we are today...in limbo again. Just waiting for Baby Blue to find us.