Could it be?!...

It's been quite a bit since I've logged on. A lot has happened! After our last failed IUI we decided to take a much needed break. We went to Florida and relaxed and it felt SO nice! Since then, we've made a big decision. We are going to adopt! We thought and prayed hard and realize our love and wanting to be parents so bad is not going to be stopped by something we don't have control of. There are children who need our love just as badly as a child born from me would. We spoke to a couple who has helped us tremendously along the way. 

Now, adoption is not an easy process. There are so many children in the world who need stable parents, like ourselves, so why do they make us jump through hoops and spend tens of thousands of dollars to save one of those beautiful babies?? That is another rant... I'll save that for later.

Here's the breakdown. We don't have $17,000 (if we did, we'd be doing IVF) and that's what the going rate is  for adoption through an agency. So...we are going through DCFS. First, we must become foster parents. We had a stack of papers big enough to rival the home owner application to fill out. Then we needed updated phsyicals and TB tests. THEN we needed to be finger printed. Done and Done. So now, we are enrolled in parenting class. Every Thursday for the next 9 weeks we meet for 3 hours and learn about what it means to be a foster parent. 

This class scares me. The goal of any DCFS agency is to get that kid back to it's family. So people like Josh and me...it's hard for us to find and adopt a baby through them. Financially, this is the only way we can afford to adopt. We just don't have an extra 17 g's sitting around. However, we are doing it because we know there is a child out there for us. Tonight is our second class.

Are you ready for the wrench to be thrown in the mix? I'm 5 days late. Before you start jumping for joy like I did yesterday, I have cramping and have been spotting so I'm assuming the vitamins and supplements I've been taking have made me irregular. Can you imagine joy and excitement the past few days though? I felt like I was pregnant. 

I had to pause there to collect myself. I thought, "Maybe, since we've been concentrating on something else, my body relaxed and I became pregnant!" You should have seen the glow on Josh's face. It KILLS me to know I'll never see that on OUR child. It KILLS me that it's going to take a couple years to be placed with a baby since we are wanting to adopt and not foster. (it "puts us in a different group" is how they worded it.) 

We'll just keep holding out hope and treating Papi and Dillinger as our kids. :) I'm sure they LOVE that.

Until next time...here's to big dreams and making them come true. <3