New Doc

I don't even know if I'm in the right frame of mind to do another post. I'm numb/frustrated/sad/pissed off. 
I spoke to my new doctor today. Finally, a fertility specialist. From the get go I could tell he's been doing this a long time. He explained to me he was in the military and found out he and his wife would have complications getting pregnant. They tried for EIGHT YEARS. He said over and over "I've been in your shoes. I've worn that shirt. I know how it feels." Finally, they were able to conceive two babies. So he got out of the military, used the grants to go back to school, and became a fertility specialist. This made me feel good because he DOES know what I'm going through. I'm sure he's seen his wife imobile from the sheer exhaustion of the emotional roller coaster that is our process of trying to get pregnant.

Doc went over all their procedures in great detail, which I appreciated. You can only read so many horror stories on the internet until you find the truth.
Then, he gets to the point. He said he's gone over some of our information. He hasn't been able to obtain all records. He says, "I don't agree with your former doctors. I don't think you and Josh 'Don't mesh.' He should not have said that to you. My main concern is you." With this, the knife was back in my heart and all my worries and thoughts were confirmed. He went into detail about how he's afraid of scarring from my previous surgeries and some other health issues I have that could be pertaining to our pregnancy problems. He also addressed the fact that I only have one ovary now and said I have half the eggs of a normal 31 year old. He thinks there's an issue with me.

ALL OF THESE WERE ISSUES I HAD BROUGHT UP THAT MY DOCS HAD ALL SAID WEREN'T A PROBLEM! 
I'm SO TIRED of one doc refuting another and coming up with another test. JUST GIVE ME THE MEDICINE TO GET PREGNANT! I've been tested and operated on for A YEAR STRAIGHT! 

Just. Fix me.

I'm exhausted. I have wine headaches in the mornings and I didn't even drink any wine. I'm upset. I'm angry. I'm sad. I just don't understand. How is this fair?? All I want to do is lay in bed and it's becoming a fight to get myself to do things. I feel myself slipping away and I'm trying to stay positive but it's so hard. 

So now, I wait until his nurse calls me and tells me the next step. I wait. That's all I do these days. Wait.