Nervous

Monday, April 15th, we have a doctor's appointment with Josh's doctor to find out the results of all of his tests. They want me there, which makes me nervous. This is it. We'll find out if we are compatable. We are both fertile, but there's a chance we could be that 10% of couples who can't conceive together. This has been plaguing my every thought for the past month. On top of that, my station is putting on a ginormous concert the Sunday before the appointment so I'm stressed about that as well. This week has been hard on my hormones. I've had a break down and handled that ok. The constant fear in my head is what if we are that 10%? I didn't even know this existed! How can a couple with SO much love POSSIBLY not be able to share it with another human being? How is that possible? We're both healthy. So what's the problem? IVF costs $25,000 per SHOT. And that shot is not fool proof. This means we could be spending a lot of money, trying to conceive. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Monday will tell us everything. And it scares the shit out of me. I don't want to go to the appointment. I want to be ignorant to what's actually happening. I want to live in my happy little bubble and pretend this is not going on. But it is. So onward and upward. My next post will have a lot more information, hopefully. Here we go!